Ninja Answers: How to keep him interested

One faithful female reader asked..."Ok Mr. Love Ninja.... You've given us all these tips on how to get started, now what do we do once we've got em...how do we keep em interested...."


Glad you asked.......here are the top 5 things to be aware of.




1) Show that you are interested. If you actually are interested, quit being SO mysterious. I'm not saying you have to be all over him but, subtleties of body language and touch are good indicators. If a guy is left wondering if you are interested after 4 to 5 dates, you're not showing enough interest,and chances are he'll walk.There is a difference between wanting a guy to  put in effort, and making him "work for it". Remember that.


2) Respect his space. You may be the most interested party in this situation. You will need to find a balance between showing interest and allowing him some space.Here's the thing: a woman's feelings towards a man grow when she's with him, but a man's feelings towards a woman grow when she's away from him.


3) Ease up on the texting\bbms. It's nice to hear from you but not everyday. Just sayin...


4) Compliment him. But be sincere, compliments go a long way ladies. Men are more ego driven than women, so if you can stroke that, all the better. Just don't lay it on too thick.


5) Be careful of PDA. Public displays of affection can be hazardous to your future with this guy. Although some like it, stay clear of that until you "got him", then see wasup. He may be cool with it. Probably not but.....


This could be number six, but it isn't. Here it is anyway:  Make sure you are clear in what you are looking for, if you know he can't give it...dont waste your time or his.






Love, Ninja

You can do better than this guy.

 This  is what inspired this post.
www.candobetter.com This website allows you the impartial party to decide if either person in the couple can do better. I don't even know what to say about that, Not surprised yet oddly shocked that someone would willingly do this..oh well! To each, their own!

This concept falls right in line with your "fixer uppers".
Although it is socially presented as Women trying to fix men, I assure you this is a two way street. Let me explain.

Often when we meet someone who interests us, but is not up to our social standards (Yet still attracted) we try and change them.  We want to change the way they dress, we try to add your interests to their interests, suggest a different hair color or hairstyle, the list goes on and on and you end up turning this person into your makeover project.

Now, there is nothing wrong with trying to help polish your potential life partner, I get it. We all kinda do it to some degree. But I ask you this Ladies: What attracted you to this guy in the first place?
He may have the raw good looks, or be funny and somewhat charming, but that's the short list. If the guy can't dress himself, has no job, drinks to often and still lives at home, why would you consider him for your future?   I'll tell you why, because he's got potential. You see glimpses of greatness in him and he's just shy of the man you want him to be, but with your help, you can get him there. WRONG.

             What ends up happening is that you end up resenting him for the very things that you couldn't change about him and then you think to yourself..."I can do better". No doubt you've ignored the pleas from you family and friends, but now you start to believe it.

Guys, we see that girl who is just getting back on her feet, trying to make something of herself, but is still dependent on her parents, if we could just help her reach that potential, she would be perfect. WRONG again!
         You soon will also realize that "you can do better."The problem is, that as she is growing as a person, so are you. And she's always gonna be 5 steps behind you. You need a woman who is by your side not following your footsteps.

Whats tough about these situations is that, you have a hard time leaving a person after you've invested so much time and effort into building them, and the scary thing about letting them go is that someone else may get the best of them. If you know you can do better, why did you start dating this person in the first place?
        Regardless of their issues being simply cosmetic, emotional, physical or whatever, people we need to start making better choices when it comes to finding the one. And sometimes you gotta cut your losses and move on. If you got time to waste thats fine but if you're looking for that special someone, you shouldn't have to build them.  C'mon....you can do better than that.


Love, Ninja

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Don't Ignore Your Girlfriend During Sports.

Fellas, for the most part you'd be hard pressed to find a woman who loves and devotes the time and energy to engulf  her self into watching sports the way you do. Multiple team jerseys, fantasy leagues, jumping up on big plays, yelling at a man, in a black and white striped shirt who clearly can't even hear you.
I'm not trying to sound chauvinistic, believe me. And maaaaad props to you if you've found that woman, in fact, if she got a sister that look just like her, hook a brother up! 

Your frat boy antics may die, but your passion never will. Your love for the game surpasses everything.
But see that's the problem. I'm a sports junkie too, not just a Love Ninja, I feel you. But between guys night out, coaching and\or playing other sports, gym time and just everyday life, on the grand scheme of things it seems very selfish to devote an ENTIRE day (or two days a week for you college sports fans) to watching sports (especially if you go to a friends place every time to do it).

"Why don't you watch it with me?" you say to her. Two things:
1. You don't really mean it.
2. You're so not having sex today or tonight.
 
Many couples make arrangements, deals, plans...whatever works.  She doesn't have to love your passion the way you do. The fact that you have passions, is  probably part of the reason she was attracted to you in the first place. If you really care about her, SHE has gotta be your passion too.

It comes down to what you see as important in your life, it doesn't have to be one or the other. Sometimes you gotta miss some games and do what she wants to do. Its all about compromise. And If you got the right girl.......she'll let you have your days, just make sure she gets hers too.

Love, Ninja

When to "Friend" Him\Her on Facebook

To friend or not to friend...that is the question.

When is it a good time to add "Her" or "Him" to Facebook?

There are so many different scenarios in which we friend someone on Facebook. Most of us recognize the benefits of "The social Network", yet sometimes fail to see the draw backs. Stay with me on this..

When you meet someone for the first time, and have made your intentions known (hooking up romantically, booty calls etc), it may seem like an open window to friend that person, but it's not.


Guys, You meet a girl at a party. You swap digits. Your plan on hooking up. There is NO need for you to friend them on Facebook that night, the next day, or two days later. Be cool fellas...be cool.
Hey, some girls like it. Most that I've talked to don't. It displays a very intense level of eagerness. Which can be interpreted as desperation, and we all know how attractive that is. Take time before you invite someone into your world..Facebook is a window to the soul....

Ladies (and fellas): After you go on a first date with a someone, no matter how well it goes, DO NOT add them to Facebook. Believe me I understand. I understand that we get excited when we meet someone new who shows genuine interest.  We're quick on the draw to find out things about them on our own. Take your time let patience be your guide and things will work their way out. You jump the gun and you could both be entering this with some assumptions that may not be true.

What really sucks (for some), is  "un-friending" that person when things just don't work out.
(I will touch on the social implications of "un-friending" someone on Facebook another time.)

Facebook is great for doing your background checks, and getting a glimpse of what a person is like socially and also checking out the booty. We make judgments on their photos, friends, interests and lifestyle,We all do it.  Facebook is great for that. But remember before Facebook? Remember when you met someone and had to call (ugh...text) them, set up a date and then find out more about them? I miss those days....

Because of how HUGE Facebook is, it has become somewhat socially acceptable to friend someone and then start talking to them.  But people.... I implore you, if you are seriously interested in someone,get to know them outside of Facebook BEFORE you add them. Besides you can still creep most people without adding them......

Be cool y'all...

Love, Ninja

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Curve 94.3 and the Love Ninja present....

With the help of Winnipeg radio Curve 94.3, The Love Ninja set out on a quest to see if he could in fact, set up two complete strangers for a love connection. You listened while they met on air, for the first time, Nov.2,2010 at 8am.

The catch was that they both had to wear masks during a Q & A period and make a choice weather to go on a date based on personality, rather than physical attraction.

They were finally unmasked AFTER they agreed to going on an actual date. Both were pleasantly surprised at the reveal.

During this special version of dating in the dark, after Halloween, discount mask edition,
Both individual (Who shall remain nameless at this time) were very good sports about this social experiment, and Love Ninja believes that there may be a real connection here. Time will tell....

Big Thank you to Andrea & Jay from Curve 94.3 for making this happen on air.
I'm Happy to say the the couple is embarking on date number three...will they survive?
We'll see..Stay tuned....

Love, Ninja

Lovers and Friends: Part 4

 Signs Your Friend Secretly Wants To Hit It.

We've discussed the reality, the why and the what if of getting together with one of your close friends, and thanks for reading. Now I bring you the signs...enjoy.

Compliments: They just KEEP coming! When your friend wants a piece of dat ass, the compliments are usually flowing. Ladies, I like to think that guys are better at expressing themselves and giving compliments, So if your guy friend says you look hot, or that looks sexy, don't look too much into it.  If it happens ALL the time however...he may want to tap that.

They show you off: If you are constantly being used as arm candy, especially in unnecessary social situations and being flirted with "playfully" in public....writings on the wall....


Jealousy: They NEVER like anyone you are interested in and are catty when you talk about anyone else in a romantic or even hook up sense. Worst part is they even cockblock you when others show interest.

No interest in anyone else: They never seem to be interested in anyone else. And if they are, they would never tell you. Chances are they have had a few hookups but don't tell you, because they don't want to seem like they are playing the field.


Sex talk: No longer is it taboo to speak of sex so openly and freely or...... maybe that's just me. We all think about it constantly, but when we are talking about it to our guy\gal pal, its a different tone. There is a difference between talking about sex, and having sex talk. Just saying...

These are some of the most obvious signs for you all to ponder. Open your eyes, the signs are all around you. And remember you may be only a bottle of wine away from having sex with your friend.
what ever you choose, please..be safe.


Love, Ninja

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