Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Should you move in together?

As a couple, moving in is a BIG step. It's more than just romantic co-habitation. Moving in, is something that shouldn't be taken lightly. This should be an important decision made freely from the heart pounding "honeymoon" phase.Just cause "you're always here anyway...." should not be a reason to move in together.

Before you move in, ask yourself the question. Why?. Being in a long term relationship and feeling "it is time", or having one, or  both people looking for a place, is hardly reason enough to use your relationship as an experiment.
 It can be very costly, in more ways than one.

It seems like a great idea on the surface; sex on demand, no commutes to see each other, simplified expenses the list goes on, but lets examine some of these "benefits", and dig a bit deeper into them.

More sex, sex in the morning, sex at night, hey sex in the afternoon.
In the beginning there will be gratuitous amounts of sex, in every corner of your dwelling, so take your vitamins. But as great as it is to see your partner walk around in a bit more than nothing, or nothing at all, it can become less sexy over time. Not to imply that you  will fall out of attraction with each other, just that the visual springboard of random hot butt-naked sex can lose its appeal. Seeing her walking around topless, can cease to exist as a pre-cursor for sex, when you are getting things ready for your parents to come by.

No more commutes.
Live gets hectic, and sometimes with distance even in the same city, schedules don't connect. Sometimes it seems like you hardly see each other. Well, living together certainly solves this. But you will miss your  "me time".
Socially most couples tend to fall away from their social activities and turn more into home bodies. Not that it is a bad thing to lay low, but be ready for it. Are you ready to relinquish your night on the town, to start entertaining more? Oh yes, there will me WAY more activities with other couples, now that you live together. It happens. Oh happens.

Simplified Expenses.
The fact is your expenses can get even more complicated. Splitting expenses may seem easier on your wallet in the short term, but if you are not ready for this  and don't have the conversation, regarding each others debts, you could be inheriting more than you anticipated.

Checking in.
Perhaps the biggest part of moving in with your partner is checking in with them, letting them know, where you are and when you'll be home. This is one of the most difficult adjustments for most, but also one of the most important.Be ready for this step. Its a doozy.

This Ninja is neither for nor against the notion, all I'm saying is make sure you know what you are getting into, and when that question comes up as Why you are moving in together, just make sure it is for the right reasons and you both have the same answer.

Love, Ninja